How to get my husband more interested in helping me with the house and kids?

Can anyone tell me how to get my husband to stop watching TV and actually have a conversation with our 9 year old and 7 year old girs our 22 month old boy and myself.





When he comes from work he Turns the TV on and sits on the lounge untill he goes to bed.





Does nothing to help out with the kids, Nothing, I do everything, I feel Like I can't do it for much longrer, and when I complain he gets defensive. How can I change him.?


Please!!!How to get my husband more interested in helping me with the house and kids?
You should offer to bring in your friend for a threesome.How to get my husband more interested in helping me with the house and kids?
His behavior is a typical sign of male depression. I suggest you look over ';Is He Depressed or What?'; by David B. Wexler Ph.D.





I found it helpful in my relationship. It's easy to just skip to the section that you feel applies best to you so it doesn't require reading the whole book. Good luck!
Slap his butt down. Maybe put one of those chastity cages on his pee pee my friend just showed me while back. He's probably masturbating too much. Most guys do. Take control. The women should be the boss, we all know that. The guys are happier that way too. It's the natural order.
You can't change him, but you can move the TV out of the house and into storage (or at least send the remotes to a friend's house) and you can put his dirty dishes on his pillow. Both of those are just as passive-aggressive as what he's doing though.





Counseling is the best bet. If he won't go, go without him. Has he always been this emotionally absent?
You could try to shame him into it. By saying things like don't you want to be a part of this family you created with me? Don't you want to teach you're children that a family is a team and as such they work together and play together,





You could talk about his lack of effort in front of people he knows while he's around. You could go on strike and let it go..till he gets off his behind.





Or you could do for everyone but him..till he moves his behind.





Good Luck
OK..I am going to ask the unpopular ? AGAIN! Do U go to work w/him and sit there and help him do his job? Nope. But yet U think he should come home and help U do ur job. That was ur choice to stay @ home make the kids and house ur job. Y should he have to come home from a full time job and take on a part time one? And don't tell me that it is hard and too difficult! I am a working mom of 3 daughters and 3 step-kids (when they are here)...6 kids total! And my house is clean and dinner is never more then 20 minutes late! Maybe U need to get the 9 and 7yr old doing some chores! Like making their own beds. Cleaning their rooms. Doing dishes. Helping w/the laundry. That will take a few chores off U. And I practice what I preach! My youngest is 10. She makes her own bed. Cleans her own room. And sorts and folds (after washing) her own clothes! They are not too young!





As far as him having a convo w/u or the kids...U really need to sit him down (and not right when he gets home. pick a day when he isn't working.) and talk to him about ur feelings. Tell him that U miss the talks and the time U 2 had together. Get a dam babysitter and go out! Get a babysitter (drop the kids off there) and stay in and have a movie night. Make an exceptional dinner 4 him and U! Get ur a$$es outta the rut u are in!
Go to work with him and help out at the office.
that's a tough one.


nagging is not going to change him. i don't know if you can change a person.


it is sad, because he is the one missing out on a relationship with you and his children.


was he raised that way? is his father that way?


is there anyone in your life that can set a good example of being a husband and father?


(sorry i ask so many questions)


my father was very ';old fashioned'; and never helped out my mother with the house or with us as kids. then once he saw a male relative helping in the kitchen, changing diapers, etc and started doing little things to help out my mom. he never really developed a relationship with me or my sister though. when he died, i thought - though i loved him, i probably had about twenty words with him in my life.


i'm sure your husband wouldn't want that to be the case with his children.
Focus on your children..in the end, your children will herald you for your effort to compensate for lacking husband/father. He probably sees himself as another child. Its like trying to change someones personailty,can't teach an old dog new tricks. Hire sexy male maid and homework tutor for an evening see what happens, its all visual for men for change
I don't believe in the history of marriage a woman gets what she wants by being a nag. The best approach is to be nice about it and let him know you would like some help.





Unfortunately, for most men (not all men are like this) they are completely clueless as to what you want. A woman expects a man to know exactly what she wants. They don't, so it is your job to let him know.





If I were you, I would let him know you would like to have a chat with him. Then when the time is right and you have his attention, let him know what it is that you would like. Let him know that you are exhausted; mentally and physically. Perhaps you can have a list of things you would like help with and have him choose from the list of things. Maybe if you make dinner one night, he can do the dishes, and vise-versa. Maybe every other night you two can take turns giving baths and both of you can help tuck kids in and read stories. Also giving him a choice of things to do can help as well. For example, you can ask him if he would like to do dishes or give baths. Multiple choice always worked pretty good for me.





Right now, I think you have a communication break down. Men are much different than women. What we think needs to be done and what men think need to be done aren't the same things the majority of the time. You really need to communicate with him what it is that you really want and how you are feeling about being over whelmed. You may be surprised at the results.
Do not complain or nag. That will get you nowhere.





Start negotiating! Ease into these:





';Honey, if I make your favorite peanut butter cookies, will you help Susie with her homework?';





Invite your in-laws over for pie and coffee in the evening. They will love to see the kids and help a bit and if they observe him just sitting there all the time, MIL will probably say something to him.





When you vacuum accidentally unplug the TV. (will work a few times)





Disconnect the satellite dish.





Hide the remote under the sofa like it fell there.





Give him some jobs he can do in front of the tv like hulling nuts or folding towels.





The older children can ask him ';Daddy, will you tell me a story.';





Tell him the children want a family picnic as a reward for being good.





Ask if he will teach the children how to bathe the dog or something.





Can you hire a responsibility teenage girl as a mother's helper once a week or a housekeeper?





The older girls can help by doing a couple of simple, age-appropriate chores.





Hope this helps.





Joy to you.
You can never change him. He is the only person that can change himself.





The only thing you can change is your reaction to him.





Try marriage counseling.





Peace.